I was instantly turned off my recent chocolate bar after a new-age hippie amigo sent me a meme with the chilling words “sugar kills” in Spanish.
It had sugar cubes packaged like cigarettes with an artificial government health warning, accompanied by a picture of a patient on death’s door.
The hard sell tactic also included details for an anti-sugar website to help educate the Spanish-speaking public about eating too much of a “good” thing.
You cannot easily dismiss it as being hysterical clickbait material. Doctor Google will quickly point out why Mary Poppins was dead wrong to advise using a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.
We all know sugar is bad to the bone with regards diabetes, obesity and heart disease. But, hand on heart, how many readers knew it has also been linked to some cancers. I’d even almost forgotten too much sugar could result in dementia, too.
I was never crazy for chocolate as a child because we had too much of a good thing thanks to my late father Gerry who worked at Cleeve’s in the 1980s.
I’m being fatuous here, but even as a kid I was made aware of its real dangers when my dad was rushed to hospital with serious burns after the factory’s sugar boiler machine exploded in his face.
Regardless of all the warning signs, I developed a sickening sweet tooth after knocking beer and cigs on the head.
I’d foolishly figured it would be no sweat to squeeze back into my skinny jeans; instead I soon resembled the Michelin Man after replacing my cravings for sugary beer with ice cream and Turkish delight.
I went cold turkey and hit the gym when buttons began popping off my shirts like the Incredible Hulk.
It made my mates green with envy after my trousers shrunk from a 36-inch to 32-inch in size. Sadly, it all came to a screeching halt when the gyms shut during the pandemic. I began comfort eating to combat the feeling of having the weight of the world on our collective shoulders during the pandemic. Eventually I took a long hard look in the mirror on learning my cholesterol was sky high. I was left with plenty of food for thought when a sugar-free diet soon worked faster than just mimicking a hamster on his wheel.
It was almost as difficult as quitting cigarettes – making sugar just another nasty drug. It makes perfect sense because our brains are hardwired for pleasure and nothing tastes better than a sugar rush. Grazing on rubbish can be a difficult compulsion to overcome at the best of times.
But it increases tenfold when you’re forced to work from home. No doubt many readers have been there and bought the oversized t-shirt, too. I also doubt everybody will make a beeline for local fishmongers if the government tries to scaremonger us with sugar warnings on labels. After all, it doesn’t work with cigarettes.
I just don’t see why sugar cannot be banned when we have a natural substitute in Stevia, which has no calories and is 200 times sweeter. Sugar dealers like Willy Wonka won’t fancy such a fruitful policy because nobody will be hooked on confectionery without addictive ingredients. It was a courageous move when Ireland became the first country to introduce a public smoking ban in 2004. Ireland and other EU governments should now look at making history again with an outright sugar ban in all foods. While all imports could be taxed up to the eyeballs like cigarettes.
As I said earlier, pretty soon after cutting sugar out, including beer and choc, I was quickly back down to a 32 waist… with a belt! That was motivation enough…
We need to wake up and smell the sugar-free coffee.
